An Open Letter to Jim Solouki and Martin Baker, Authors of ‘Robin Williams in Hell!’

Posted: August 14, 2014 in Random Daily Musings
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Greetings Christian Cretins,

Thank you for such a riveting and sensitive insight into the sins of the late Robin Williams. Your blog, brilliantly entitled ‘Robin Williams in Hell!’ has filled me with such passion that I felt compelled to respond. Here it is in all its glory:

http://creationsciencestudy.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/robin-williams-in-hell/

I must admit that my initial thoughts were one of complete bemusement. This side-splitting piece, which took two of you to compose, must have been some sort of brilliant joke, surely! Sadly, on further inspection, I realised the joke was on me.

It is therefore with this in mind that I felt the strong desire to respond, call it a ‘sign’ if you will, and I shall do so in the same format which you employed so as to make it easy for your tiny little minds to follow without too much strain.

So it would seem, according to your astute observations, that Robin Williams is burning in Hell. I assume that such a bold and outlandish statement would be firmly grounded in some form of irrefutable evidence; CCTV footage of this apparent burning in action, an anonymous tip-off from a disgruntled former Hell employee, perhaps an email from Satan himself to clarify the matter. Yet as with all ‘religious evidence’ it’s that age old notion of ‘it is because it is, because I say it is and because someone else told me it is, so ner.’

Your indisputable slice of evidence on the matter is thus: ‘all those who commit suicide go straight to hell.‘ Mm-hmm. Would you mind pointing me in the direction of the Bible text which states precisely that? Thought not.

Your next little sliver of verification lies in the fact that Robin Williams was a wealthy man, which inevitably made him a devil worshipping Satanist in your eyes because the Bible states in Matthew 19:24; “And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

I thought it worth pointing out at this juncture that the Catholic Church (those faithful lovelies who believe most strongly in the suicide/hell concept and therefore, one must assume, your allies on this matter) remain one of the wealthiest organisations on the planet. I presume you are aware of what the Vatican looks like? No, no, that’s not the White House, silly billies. So by your definition, all Catholics are going to hell too? Good-o.

The next facet to your winning argument follows with a list of Mr Williams’ film and television appearances, all of which you describe as ‘ungodly‘ and ‘evil.’ Obviously I’m rather strapped for time due to all the wonderful sinning I’ve still got to do today, so I shall keep it brief.

‘Mrs Doubtfire’

Robin Williams plays a cross-dressing homosexual’ which, as you say, promotes gay families and the concept of a cross-dresser raising a child; ‘an ungodly abomination and should be kept away from your children and families.’ It is absolutely incredible how you have both managed to miss the obvious point of the film in such staggering fashion. You must be the only two individuals on this earth who could argue themselves into a paperbag. However, on further consideration, I suppose it’s not so surprising considering you have misinterpreted the teachings of The Bible so dramatically in favour of dribbling lunacy and uneducated ramblings.

Robin Williams did not play a ‘cross-dressing homosexual’ but a heterosexual man fighting to win back the love of his wife and children. Placed in a hopeless situation, he used the only weapon he had in his arsenal (his extraordinary acting abilities) in an attempt to spend more time with his kids. This meant delving into the depths of a dressing up box and transforming into a delightful, lovable old Granny who most of us wish we were related to. How jolly sinful, eh? I suspect that the majority of Fathers pushed to their limits would perform far worse ‘sins’ for a chance to see their children. Is such a motive cause for hatred and animosity? ‘Not only that but he tries to emulate Freddy Mercury…an ungodly heathen scum who is in Hell today.’ Ah, but Freddy has such great legs though doesn’t he, I mean just LOOK at that picture you posted.

Freddie M

‘Aladdin’

Robin Williams was a known Muslim sympathizer….Harems, Muslims and genies, an ungodly sequence of themes if ever I’ve heard one.’ This Muslim friendly cartoon, as you so cleverly maintain, was the driving force behind a more Muslim tolerant America and, as a consequence, the horrendous events of 9/11. Ah, clever, very clever. I see your logical train of thought and raise you this….

Walt Disney, creator of ‘Disney’ and such films as ‘Aladdin’, was an American citizen, born in Ontario in 1901. Therefore, if we are to follow your reasoning, Walt Disney himself is the culprit behind the making of this Muslim propaganda and consequently the true mastermind behind the atrocities of 9/11. Such a shame he has been dead since 1966, we could all go and knock on his door together and expose the fact that 9/11 was an inside job. In fact, it’s astonishing that no one else has drawn this conclusion, it’s so good that I’ll reward you with a little slow-clap.

It should also be worth noting that you forgot to mention The Sultan, a character of extreme wealth and gluttony (almost certainly burning in Hell), Iago the talking parrot (what IS this wickedness?!), the Magic Carpet (‘witchcraft, voodoo black magic and sorcery, burn it at the stake,’ I hear you cry) and of course Jafar (he was most CERTAINLY a radical, he has that sort of sneaky ‘terroristy’ look about him, doesn’t he?’) Movie night must be an absolute riot in your house.

‘Flubber’

An ungodly green slime that has magical powers…..some type of voodoo or black magic…keep it away from your kids.’ Oh the green slime, aaaaaarrrrrghhhh, everybody run for the hills!!

May I present to you a notion known in the entertainment world as ‘suspending your disbelief?’ I hope you’re sitting down for this…..Flubber isn’t real. GASP, I know. I didn’t believe them when they told me either. It’s called the ‘magic of television’, akin to what the general public may think should a bearded man suddenly appear out of nowhere and turn my bottle of Evian into a nice Campo Rioja or start skipping across the Thames. Mr Blaine, is that you? You wicked sorcerer.

‘Jumanji’

Another ‘ungodly’ (yawn) film which ‘makes our children want to play with Ouiji boards and practise ungodly (at this point I would consider investing in a thesaurus) acts of channeling and séances.’ Not to mention the ‘Darwinism element of favourably portraying a child as half man, half monkey.’

I’m slowly losing the will to live as I type this and cant even begin to delve into Darwin for fear of passing out from slamming my head into this brick wall so I’ll just point out that you failed to acknowledge the cardinal sin of reckless debauchery known as gambling (there was a lot of dice throwing if I remember correctly) the fact that the parents of our protagonists lived in a beautiful large house (there must be some wealthy/satanic/hell-burning propaganda in there somewhere) not to mention the massive fucking spiders, the evil knife-throwing monkey army (seriously, have you READ Revelations?!) and those wicked tribal drum beats which must have been played by some evil imp-fiend in a grass skirt (cross-dressing homosexual.) For goodness sake, if you’re going to give us proof, at least give us all the facts.

‘Happy Feet’

It’s an animated drawing about cute, cuddly, happy penguins, you fucking miserable bastards.

To cap off this exquisite display of intellect and reasoning, you draw attention to the fact that ‘Robin Williams sacrificed goats to SATAN (there’s no need to shout, I’m sure he can hear you) at the Bohemian Grove with Alastair Crowley…I saw that in an article on the internet.’ Ah-ha-haaaaa, someone please pass me a tissue, I must wipe these tears which appear to be running down my legs. Oh you guysssss!!

Suffice to say that the only conclusion one can draw from your dazzling penmanship is that you two are a hilarious bunch of chaps who probably like to play tickle-tag with each other after dark. Either that or you are a pair of miserable, bigoted fanatics who have been let out on day release from the KKK. Sadly, I think it’s the latter and for that I pity you because I very much doubt your God would welcome such repugnant and malicious creatures into the Kingdom of Heaven. See proof below:

Ephesians 4:32

‘Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.’

Ephesians 4:29-32

‘Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasions, that it may grace to those who hear,’

Luke 6:31

‘And as you wish to others would do to you, do so to them.’

Proverbs 24:17

‘Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles.’

I will leave you with my genuine desire that none of your friends or acquaintances suffer the misfortune of being crippled with depression or mental illness. I dread to think how you would treat their sinful, devil-possessed souls. Still, we all know that those who have taken Jesus into their hearts are immune to any form of illness and disease, aren’t they….thank God for that.

From your evil, depraved and magnificently wicked friend,

Pia Jackson

P.S. I’d take a quick singe in Hell with Robin Williams over an eternity next to you two rays of sunshine any day of the week.

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Comments
  1. Pia, our blog is as legitimate as Jesus, and mock us though you may, Satan is preparing a place for heathens like you. I will be praying for you to repent. Hell is no joke. Please, please, please repent so that you are not tortured forever in Hell alongside Robin Williams, Pope John Paul II, Judas, Carl Sagan, and Charles Darwin. I fear for your soul.

    I will be praying for you.

    Yours in Christ,
    Jim Solouki

    • Brilliant response Jim, thank you for taking the time to comment. As mentioned in my article, I assume you have proof of Satan’s preparation of my own personal hell hot-spot? Further, I would be interested in your thoughts in relation to the overwhelming scientific evidence which refutes the existence of God and the creation story? And lastly, if God does exist, how do you think he/she will react when considering your very un-Godly actions on earth toward your fellow man? Doesn’t God teach us to ‘love thy neighbour?’

      • Midnight Sun says:

        Excellent writing, Pia. Hats off to you for picking apart their entire post and ripping it into fertiliser. Personally, I found these two to be far more stupid than even the sponges, the most primitive animals in the world to ever exist. Reasoning with them is like reasoning with a newborn, absolutely impossible.

        Kudos and good luck on your future endeavours.

      • Hah! Thank you for your kind comment! I quite agree, attempting to reason with these individuals in an intelligent and rational manner is like banging one’s head against a brick wall. If their God does exist however, I firmly believe he will have a thing or two to say to them!

        Pia

  2. DaVinci says:

    Hi Pia,
    Very nice written article you are for sure a very talented writer. However this particular post has been a waste of your time since the 2 writers you are adressing are not real persons. It is supposed to be some sort of a parody on hardcore christians I believe though it’s not realy that funny. My advise is to just ignore it insteas of wasting your time.
    Kind regards,
    DaVinci.

    • DaVinci, thank you for your comment. However, I don’t believe penning this blog has been a waste of my time. Although the authors of this specific article may well be using it as a platform to provoke readers under the guise of comedy, there are millions more who spout similar rantings and ravings in full belief that they are preaching the word of God whilst simultaneously stirring up hatred and anger, a notion which goes against the Christian teachings altogether. In light of this, ignoring such appalling behaviour and burying one’s head in the sand is, in my opinion, a weak and intolerable inaction. If my response provokes at least one person to reconsider their actions then it can never be considered a waste of time.

      Kind regards,
      Pia

  3. Lou says:

    Brilliant! Those two men are cunts and deserve to be fucked bloody by a horse. I sincerely hope their website is satirical and it makes me so glad that I’m not an American. I will never step foot in that miserable country if I can help it. Robin is not burning in hell, because the place doesn’t exist.

  4. Hans says:

    They are Poes! Pure parody. Just take a closer look.

  5. Khedar says:

    Hi Pia,

    All I would like to say is thank you, because your comments are so funny and it makes the two dotards look like even bigger jokes than they already are. We all know who the True Christians are, and I pray that your comments will hearten the hearts of many dismayed Christians who have read their extremist posts.

    God Bless!

    • Hi Khedar,
      That is extremely kind of you to not only read it but also to write such a nice comment! I too hope that Christians are not disheartened by these silly monkeys! May your God bless you. Pia

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